Massimo Curatella

Category: Posts

  • Live Or Die With Doubt

    Live Or Die With Doubt

    Doubt can drill your brain. It might become toxic if you don’t have the courage to face it or go deep and unearth its origin. It’s a love-hate relationship, a bug in your brain, mainly when it stays a long time, in the dark and obscure recesses of your mind.

    Either you embrace it when it becomes the physiological uncertainty we all live in. And so you can make a tool out of it. You can use it to set up experiments. Meaning: you can act, work, and move from the paralysis you were in. So it’s a flowing evolution of considerations, you might go from doubt to doubt, which would be just reasonable. That is life.

    Or, you can decide to keep it with you as a secret and be consumed from the inside. The inside of you. That would mine your confidence, your serenity, and your decision-making capabilities.

    Better face your doubts as soon as possible, as frequently as possible. Everything is worth a doubt. Give it a try. Learn to sail and navigate with the winds even when your compass is not to be trusted.

  • It’s Easy To Break A Habit

    It’s Easy To Break A Habit

    As soon as you skip your daily habitual rite of preparing for your creative time, immediately after you rush your creation when you skip a step because you’re tired or unmotivated, that is the worst moment of your challenge.

    You want to build a daily creative habit and you’ve struggled to engrain your rituals for hundreds of days. When you start to feel tired or not like creating there are infinite ways to fall in a downward spiral dangerously leading you to break your habit.

    This is what happened to me recently. After having a nice group of peers writing with me I got back to write alone. First, in 15 people you can feel the energy to create and you can’t wait for the moment to do it. When others have their doubts and partial failure you get energized by helping them to remain consistent. But at day 90 when you are in three, and then two, and then one, if you didn’t plan and prepare for your solo marathon, that is the moment where your willpower and your character are strongly put to a test.

    Well, here I am, alone, still writing, and it’s day 233.

  • At The Last Moment

    At The Last Moment

    I’ve just turned 18. I am an adult now. I am reliable and trustworthy. I can park Dad’s new car.

    I am on the garage’s ramp. The tarmac is covered with slippery gravel. I can see the gate open at the end of the ramp, going down to the garage. I slowly set the gear, and I gently go down, proud of my driving skills. The gate is not completely open, I realize suddenly. I won’t fit. I need to stop. I pull the hand brake. The car stops. But after the wheels get blocked, it slides. I am fucking sliding down the ramp with my Dad’s new car. Slowly. Like an earthquake in slow-motion. I could stop my car altogether, get out of the car, and cover those few steps dividing me from the partially open gate. But there’s no room. The wall running sideways leaves no space to open the car’s doors. I am stuck in my Dad’s new car. I cannot get out. I cannot move forward. I cannot drive back. I am stuck!

    The car slides. Maybe a centimeter. Maybe two. But it slides. The metal edge of the gate is looking at the corner of my Dad’s new car, waiting for a violent kiss. And I am stuck. The car slides three centimeters now. The sound of gravel sparkling as popcorn under the wheels gives me shivers. I am fucked! I am stuck! And fucked. I decide to go all in. I steer the wheel of a millionth of a degree to the left—the car slides. I aim to go as close as possible to the left wall while avoiding the protruding end of the gate on the right. The car slides again. My hands are sweaty. I am wetting the steering wheel. I cannot blink. I am fixated on the distance between the sides of my Dad’s new car and the two edges. I measure with my eyes—the car slides. The gate approaches—the car slides. I am firing glazes to the left and the right without a pause—the car slides. Infinite seconds of panic are never-ending—the car slides. I can see the gate at the level of the right corner. I should wait for the hit. I should hear the sound—the car slides. I can feel the slope diminishing. I am not on the ramp anymore. I made it! I am in the garage!

    I drove my Dad’s new car in the garage safely.

    I am an adult now. I am reliable and trustworthy.

  • The Cost of Relocating Hoarded Stuff

    The Cost of Relocating Hoarded Stuff

    When we think about relocating we’re forced to inventory our lives. We evaluate each object in our possession for utility. If we love to buy books and less to read them we would doubt our decision-making capabilities in terms of buying them. All those small items accumulated for a potential occasion that never presented itself will again be judged against this vague future. In the meantime, dozens of boxes get full of memories, opportunities never taken, books never read, gifts never used. When we have to pay the money needed to move those things we understand the real value of our hoarding attitude. We pay for an improbable future, shy desires, and forbidden dreams.

  • Trust is when I’m sure about you

    Trust is when I’m sure about you

    It’s when I can leave you alone, doing your work undisturbed, knowing you will use the best of your knowledge and skills to pursue our common goal.

    It’s when you are aware of how the work needs to be done and you don’t need any supervision. I don’t need to check on what you’re doing because you know what works and what doesn’t.

    It’s knowing you can drive all night while I’m sleeping and you will take me safely to the destination.

    It’s when I don’t have to check to watch, I’m sure you will do on time what you have to do.

    It’s when you support me and do my interest when I’m not present.

    It’s knowing I can rely on you without even asking.

  • Timeliness, how to be on time

    Timeliness, how to be on time

    Being on time means getting prepared for it. You just don’t set a timer for the due date and time so you will be on time. You need to think about, in reverse, to all the things that need to happen for your be ready at exactly the desired time.

    If you want to reach a meeting at 14:30, you don’t get your car at 14:30 to drive to your meeting.
    The same happens if you are just 200 meters from the meeting place. You don’t get on your feet at 14:30 to reach that place. And if you go one step back you’ll have to get dressed. And if you keep on going back you will list all needed steps for you to get ready for that meeting.

    It seems so obvious to appear stupid but I keep on having people joining meeting 1, 2, 5, 15, 20 minutes later. It’s disrespectful and a sign of being disorganized. If you don’t have a good reason to show up late you are just undervaluing the presence of others at your meeting.

    It is a cultural matter. Sure. There are region of the world, including some dear to me, where there are diverse custom uses.

    “See you at about 14:20” can mean anything between 14:20 and 15:00, if you are lucky.

    “See you at about 14:00” can be anything within the hour.

    The most menacing is “see you after 14:00”. What does it mean “after” 14:00? Even “in 200 years” is “after 14:00.” And it depends also if we’re talking about business or a casual meeting, with acquaintances or close friends.

    One technique to try being on time is to never consider the due time as your target. According to the context, the distance and the difficulty to reach your meeting (think about Endurance on Mars) you might want to subtract a certain amount of time.

    So, a nice game, is the one of time-labeling people according to how late they usually are.

    For certain close relatives I always say see you at 14:00! (with the exclamation mark!) When I perfectly know they will reach me between 10 and 20 minutes later. In fact, I wanted to meet them at 14:20.

    What time-label do you wear?

  • Vane Celebrations

    Vane Celebrations

  • Safety is Needed to Get Clarity

    Safety is Needed to Get Clarity

    It’s only when you trust your team members, and you are sharing a solid mission and, first of all, when you know you can expose your thoughts without feeling you’ll be judged for that, or worst, they will be used against you, that you can work to gain clarity.

    When you are working to solve complicated messes and wicked problems, it’s crucial to think quickly and deeply at the same time. You need to experiment and be prone to make mistakes. You need to put your self-worth on the line each time a decision needs to be made and you are an essential part of the decision-making process.

    It’s not an easy environment to create, either creative or professional. It requires a lot of time to work together, know each other, and have several experiences together: good and bad.

    That’s why you need to have the patience to stay with a group as long as possible if you want to reach alignment of purposes and harmony of skills and character. It’s one of the best work and create situations where you feel you are giving a substantial contribution to whatever you are making together.

    It’s a great way to grow as a professional and a working group.

  • Time and Space Never Meet

    Time and Space Never Meet

    Then I went upstairs, slowly, measuring each step. All still there, after all of those years. The line of pictures, untouched, climbing with me, looking at me. Cool air whispering in my ears. How long have I waited to live this? It was unexpected and welcome. Daring and caring. All furniture pieces where I left them. Like good old friends. Waiting, patiently. Where have you been? Did you find what you were looking for? The black tiles on the floor started to make a musical sound—the usual one. In tune with my thoughts, quickly assaulting each other. Will I find her still sitting in her chair? Those eyes looking into my soul were the greatest treasure I left behind me. They kept on visiting in my dreams, sometimes in my daydreaming. At the same time, they had the power of communicating love, a silent, warm, embracing love, and a quick reprimand, sweet but firm. Where have you been? Have you found what you were looking for? The white tiles replied to their opposite twins. My alternate steps started to establish the familiar rhythm. That one peculiar to the approaching door. It always surprises me how long it takes to go from the balcony to the door. The asymmetry between time and space follows an inverse gradient. The more you come closer, the more it takes for you to reach it. And it never ends.

  • Still writing, still for me

    Still writing, still for me

    I got tired of writing and publishing every day. It has become a nuisance that I tend to escape just to be able to get it out of my way. The value of those 20-30 minutes of creative improvisation has gone down a lot. The lack of dialogue with the public demotivated me. I have no reactions. Obviously, it is up to me to understand why. I find myself at the crossroads of deciding whether to write just for me, for me in public or to write for an audience. This should make a difference. Not having a clear view of the audience I’m looking for, I prefer to stay focused on writing for myself. The main value of writing for me is to find the concentration to think. This is why I find myself with drafts that with difficulty become interesting pieces to read in public. They are articles that have done the most important work for me, make me think. There is no time for the desire to transform those neural embryos into something more in-depth and caring for someone who can find them interesting. I was too ambitious in thinking that every day I could give birth to a creative gem to be set. I like the idea of the constant creative flow but the curatorship of Curatella is still missing. We need to collect rough stones, work them and, if and when it’s worth it, then ring them.
    There is also a lack of a more compelling relationship with the reader. I write to me, about me, for myself. It’s too easy for the reader to ask “yes, cute, so what? What do I do with it?”. I would therefore tend to move without hesitation and remorse on a personal level for the purpose of individual growth. I could find different forms for the different possible expressions. There may be an unstructured, daily diary that aspires to nothing but that of existing. Secondly, I can create a place of creativity and exchange that is more open to dialogue by taking care of it, keeping the goal of launching a conversation more focused.
    I leave you here, these thoughts, without rereading them, precisely in the declared spirit.
    Bye.